Freaked Out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. That's right... I'm fine.

I’ll admit I picked the college I’m going to on a whim. I picked it and then blindly announced that I absolutely loved this place. Much like falling in love via the internet and then learning that that dashing person you met online is actually a creepy fifty year old man who god only knows in no way resembles the pictures. I don’t mean to compare this school to a pervy old man that immediately after meeting you rush to escape and pray that absolutely no one you know learns about the incident because this school is beautiful and interesting and not at all creepy. However it was something I was seeing from only one angle and that angle was directly in front of my computer. 

As I was walking which is more complicated than it sounds as I have five blisters strategically placed on each foot and glancing at my arms as it became readily apparent which spots I had missed in my heavy and I do mean heavy application of sunscreen ignoring the pounding heat of a place that actually breaks 80 degrees I realized how little I had thought this out. Sure in deciding not to go to Anchorage I got to avoid any encounters with the campus moose though I admit that they seem cute and cuddly now that I have moved somewhere where I jump at every sprinkler because I am absolutely certain it is probably a snake and that snake is definitely poisonous and out to get me and that is terrifying. It’s just hard to realize that you’re stepping into reality instead of a fantasy. That is what this is now. Reality. 

I’m trying. I actually sent an email so that I could start driver’s ed. They called me back though my phone was dead at the time and asked me to call them so we could set something up. I’m going to take care of that today. Hopefully. I might chicken out and just do it tomorrow but I will definitely get it done. It’s just for some reason I thought that I would be an entirely different person in a different setting. I’m not. 

The only difference between here and there besides the fact that these places are polar opposites which really is a small insignificant detail when I’m not gasping out in the sun like a fish out of water is that here I actually have a chance to change.  So I’ll do it. I just won’t promise that I’m not going to be freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional.